Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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