Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
