Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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