the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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