His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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