We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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