Can i not drive my cunt home
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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