Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
