bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
