I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
