the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
