Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
