I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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