Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
