I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
This baby is an asshole
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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