its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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