Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Randomize
