I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Are we still banned from the library?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
