I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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