this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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