he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
