so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
