she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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