i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Drake has all the answers
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
