Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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