I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize