4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
