Rock
Scissors
Fuck
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
