Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
