There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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