ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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