Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
The power of my boobs compel you
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
