he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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