either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Randomize
