Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
