This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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