the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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