i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
