MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
