Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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