your room smells of hookers.
And success
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
