singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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