i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
