So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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