my vag is so smooth its legendary
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
