honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
