Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
