Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Say something about gay babies.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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