I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
