have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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