...so i touched it.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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