i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
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So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
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My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...