closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize