Texts From Last Night

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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I'm chasing vodka with french fries.

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  (201): I'm chasing vodka with french fries. http://tfl.nu/5e4z
  Replies (24) Good night (3135) Bad night (670)
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  (805): View more from California

  at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.

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  (805): at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle. http://tfl.nu/34ph
  Replies (64) Good night (1121) Bad night (3120)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  New low: just hacked my moms facebook

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  (352): New low: just hacked my moms facebook http://tfl.nu/hg9x
  Replies (18) Good night (758) Bad night (2551)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  ...welcome to nebraska

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  (402): i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall (402): ...welcome to nebraska http://tfl.nu/cxvz
  Replies (56) Good night (2502) Bad night (908)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.

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  (561): I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick. http://tfl.nu/378g
  Replies (74) Good night (11710) Bad night (1473)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.

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  (617): I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster. http://tfl.nu/4sze
  Replies (45) Good night (5128) Bad night (1010)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.

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  (604): Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub. http://tfl.nu/91f9
  Replies (20) Good night (5547) Bad night (1084)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!

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  (319): She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?! http://tfl.nu/73w6
  Replies (5) Good night (1210) Bad night (3044)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.

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  (802): Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets. http://tfl.nu/f9nv
  Replies (6) Good night (1269) Bad night (2531)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  and she just brought her bike into the shower with her

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  (434): and she just brought her bike into the shower with her http://tfl.nu/c8oh
  Replies (8) Good night (2638) Bad night (1081)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?

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  (515): Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged? http://tfl.nu/5wyb
  Replies (6) Good night (1003) Bad night (351)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you

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  (931): He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you http://tfl.nu/kuvj
  Replies (6) Good night (1874) Bad night (397)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.

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  (847): I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low. http://tfl.nu/gpfm
  Replies (2) Good night (611) Bad night (856)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.

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  (806): I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots. http://tfl.nu/ai8j
  Replies (0) Good night (255) Bad night (506)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue

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  (248): Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue http://tfl.nu/hgnj
  Replies (10) Good night (571) Bad night (268)

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