My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
