Texts From Last Night

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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.

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  (208): I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe. http://tfl.nu/02tv
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.

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  (678): Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol. http://tfl.nu/nnbo
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.

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  (281): I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in. http://tfl.nu/ql5b
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...

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  (778): yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet... http://tfl.nu/488j
  Replies (29) Good night (3282) Bad night (1424) Order T-Shirt
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??

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  (864): Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others?? http://tfl.nu/cnvm
  Replies (102) Good night (6866) Bad night (2231) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance

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  (801): The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance http://tfl.nu/4nxj
  Replies (10) Good night (4405) Bad night (473) Order T-Shirt
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  (409): View more from Texas

  nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair

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  (409): nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair http://tfl.nu/hpi9
  Replies (26) Good night (431) Bad night (4305) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes

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  (314): i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes http://tfl.nu/8fav
  Replies (17) Good night (874) Bad night (5232) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Want any specific kind of beer?

  (623): View more from Arizona

  Yeah. Alcohol flavor.

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Got it. Anything but Miller.

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  (701): Want any specific kind of beer? (623): Yeah. Alcohol flavor. (701): Got it. Anything but Miller. http://tfl.nu/wg65
  Replies (39) Good night (7029) Bad night (767)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd

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  (815): The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd http://tfl.nu/v8gr
  Replies (7) Good night (2832) Bad night (902) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.

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  (360): I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true. http://tfl.nu/2syb
  Replies (33) Good night (6042) Bad night (814) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.

  (1-304): View more from West Virginia

  Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.

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  (304): I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us. (1-304): Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat? (304): No there was a goat. I gave it a donut. http://tfl.nu/bds8
  Replies (15) Good night (6263) Bad night (770)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!

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  (239): I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you! http://tfl.nu/6j2k
  Replies (4) Good night (466) Bad night (2643) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.

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  (206): when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other. http://tfl.nu/no1k
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.

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  (561): Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry. http://tfl.nu/ip0u
  Replies (8) Good night (420) Bad night (1230) Order T-Shirt

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