Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
