Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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