There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
