He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize