you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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