I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
