Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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