my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
of course. lets lasso hookers.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
